Trophy Case Gatorade Pegasister Day

Hello, everyone. Sorry for the huge hiatus from Mission Control, but finals season has begun, and I am very busy avoiding my homework and all. It takes a lot out of a person.

However, there is still much to report. Too much, in fact.

My lovely school won ten thousand dollars in some voting competition that turned out to be basically a lame car commercial. I don't know why the people with the money can't just show up in a big, black BMW and hand over the cash in an unmarked envelope, but for some strange reason, they decided everyone should go to the gym at seven-forty-five and sing the Norman Chrysler Jeep and Dodge jingle. Hooray, hooray.

So the gym was full of annoyed teenagers, unnecessarily happy cheerleaders, the Ironic Hipster Choir (me, and several other zombie-type beings), and the band, which has lots of other Ironic Hipsters who like to play the fight song over and over again to be annoying. Yay.

And then two people from Norman Chrysler Jeep and Dodge arrived, fully botoxed and laser-whitened, to hand over the big novelty check and force us to sing their jungle to the morbidly obese camera person. Even more Yay.

Then our principal announced what the ten thousand dollars we had won would be going to. Everyone, especially the girls, were really hoping that they would buy some bathroom stall doors, because a lot of the stalls are missing doors, and they put up some very transparent shower curtains as a makeshift. So we're all sitting there thinking, Yes, now I can pee without feeling like people are watching me.

But no. The money will go to fixing all the lockers, which is good, because a lot of the lockers are messed up: dented doors, no doors, malfunctioning locks, and so on. But they're also buying us a trophy case.

Lemme try again: They're buying us a trophy case.

THEY ARE BUYING A TROPHY CASE.

Why, why, why??

Yeah, because having a giant glass box in the middle of the school is really going to make the sports teams preform better. I see where you're going with this.

On the one hand, our debate teacher will finally be able to get all of those speech and debate trophies moved out of her house. On the other hand, HELLO. The teachers use the same bathrooms as we do. Do they not notice how awkward it is trying to pee with nothing but a paper-thin strip of fabric to guard you from the outside world!? I mean, seriously...

And to make my day even better, because life isn't interesting enough, apparently, I got half a bottle of yellow Gatorade spilled on me at lunch. And I went to the uniform closet to get different pants, and all the sizes were weird. I mean, what's with all the numbers? Small, Medium, and Large work just fine for me. By the time I had gone through the whole box trying to decipher the tags, lunch was over and my pants were pretty much dry, so there was no point in wasting any more time. But I still smelled sort of like Gatorade for a while-- at least, I felt like I smelled like Gatorade. I'm not sure anyone else noticed much.

Also, my sister and I have been watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

Why?

Because it's ironic. And because Friendship is Magic. And because everyone secretly wants to attend the Galloping Gala. And because... I have no life, and the vast majority of my friends exist in cyberspace. Which is probably the real reason... I learned that the female equivalent of a Brony is a Pegasister. *Sigh* I am resigned to my fate, but I really can't help it.



Rainbow Dash. Your argument is invalid.