Monday, January 23, 2012

They Shoot Liberals, Don't They?

Since 2012 is an election year, and I have not been given that oh-so-precious rite-of-passage, the right to vote, I realized something- Hey, I have a blog. Who says I can't use it?

Now, my mom has teased me in the past about being a democrat, but since I never knew much about that particular political party (I live in the Political Boondox, guys), I wasn't sure how accurate her assertions were.

Well, apparently, pretty accurate.

It's interesting, if you think about it. Oklahoma is entirely Republican, so it's not like my personal opinion really matters- but then, it does matter to me. What's even more interesting is the fact that I could be raised a firmly Christian, Nazarene kid with a Republican background and still be so- dare I say it- radical. In Oklahoma, being a democrat is a lot like what being a Red Sox fan must feel like- we never win, but we sure are loud. And well, there's always next year.

For those who aren't politically gifted, or for those who might even be slightly interested, here are the things that make me think I'm a liberal:

1. Gay Rights- Here's what I think: I'm not gay, nor will I ever be gay. And yes, I will concede that the Bible says not to be gay. But at the same time, just because I am not, doesn't make it right for me to hate &/or be rude to the people who are. I also have no problem with gay people serving in the military, simply because of the fact that no matter who protects my freedom, they deserve my respect. I also personally believe that not letting gay people get married isn't going to stop them from living together and being gay. Maybe they shouldn't call it marriage, though, because that's not exactly what it is... And that's the most awkward topic out of the way...

2. Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice- This is another hard one. I personally would never get an abortion, no matter what the situation was- but I can see why a girl might, if she was raped or abused or something like that. I think that the government should kind of go minimal in this particular area, just because- well, quite frankly, it's down to the woman and what she decides to do with her body. But I think that they should keep it legal, as much as I prefer adoption as an alternative, simply because methods for abortion have been around for a long time, and human nature tends to seek an easy way out. I don't know about anyone else, but I would rather that people who seek abortions, if they really can't be swayed, do it safely with proper medical equipment as opposed to other more primitive "street" methods. It's utilitarian, but there it is.

3. Healthcare- Ooh, this one's fun! I love when people get mad about this, because "With the health care reform we'll have to pay other peoples' insurance!" That's not what happens. We're ALREADY paying for those uninsured little dudes. Health care reform provides universal health care that would stop that, or at the very least, lighten the load. And you're upset about this because...? I'll grant you, I'm not old enough to be a taxpayer yet, but I do know one thing: When you're a grown-up, generally more money makes a happy face. Now, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

4. Religious Stuff- I want to be perfectly clear about one thing: I am a Christian. But I am also a huge fan of the separation of Church and State. That is something that I support wholeheartedly. Now, apparently there are places besides Oklahoma where kids can't pray in school or celebrate Christmas, la-dee-da. Here's what I have to say to that:

A) Um, can't openly celebrate Christmas? People are always complaining about how over-commercialized it is, and how annoying it is to buy all those Christmas presents and what-not. So, having one place where the madness is repressed is supposed to be a bad thing? Right.

B) As my gifted teacher Mrs. Marvin used to say, "As long as there are tests in schools, there will be prayer."

C) People come here seeking religious freedom all the time. Politicians should let the churches do religion, and the churches should let the politicians do politics. If we could settle on that as a country, I think we'd be happier.

D) At the same time, Christians do get a bad wrap. There's that small minority of people, like the Westboro Baptist Church and Rick Perry, who make the rest of us look like freaks. And honestly, I think if Christians- myself included- would quit complaining about the way American Pop Culture has created this Religious Villain Stereotype, get off our lazy butts, and do something to prove the world wrong, maybe then it would go (slightly) away.

But, maybe not.

Well, there you have it. I successfully violated two out of three of Linus' blanket ban conversation rules. As far as the Great Pumpkin goes- he's real. That's all I have to say. If this entry shocks you, make sure you read the label carefully next time. The Loudmouth isn't just a title- it's a warning.

As Tobuscus says, "Bless Your Face. Goodbye."

Friday, January 20, 2012

Why The World Is (NOT) Going To End

I know. It's really, really sad that it took three weeks for me to wake up and say, "Hey... isn't the world supposed to end?"

Pathetic. I am so behind the times.

HOWEVER, I have it on good authority (whenever I say that, it means Wikipedia) that the world is not going to end... yet.

This is an article in which I will disprove all the theories about 2012 that I have heard of (well, actually, I will tell you what other people have told me and then leave links at the bottom... teehee).

Ridiculous Theory #1: Nibiru, or Planet X!
This whole 2012 thing actually started in 2003 when some people predicted that a planet called Nibiru, or Planet X, would hit Earth and cause an Apocalypse. Personally, that sounds more like a Tom Hanks movie scenario than an actual, plausible theory to me, but hey, I'm not a hater. So, when Planet X (I'm going to call it that now because it's cool) didn't destroy Earth in 2003 they were like, "Whoops! Sorry 'bout the screw up, we meant... um... er... uh... 2012!"

And it stuck, clearly. But in case you were worried, don't be. Planet X is an ex-planet. It doesn't exist, and even if it did and was about to hit Earth, we would know, because astronomers would have been tracking it. It would have been on the news, especially the past five years or so, and there would be all sorts of pictures and vain evacuation attempts... you get the idea. And we'd probably be able to see it, the way we can see the planets in our own solar system in the night sky.

Ridiculous Theory #2: The Mayan Calender
Yes, the Mayans made a calender. Yes, it ends in 2012. Guess what? I have a Princess Bride calender from Universe Publishing, and it ends on December 31st. So, clearly, the world is going to end on December 31st. Right? Heck, I have a freebie wall calender from the Super Buffet here in town, with a nice picture of a panda bear on it. It came with a take out menu. Why do I have two calenders? No idea? But the point is, just because a calender ends doesn't mean that the world ends there too.

Ridiculous Theory #3: Planetary Alignments
This is the theory that tickles me the most, because every time I hear it, I picture a bunch of old guys in robes in the middle of a desert somewhere, talking to each other about astronomy in those funny, desert-astronomer-accents they have. In my mind. Which is clearly a crowded, dangerous place. Ha ha.

Anywho, this theory is as vague as it gets. Apparently, the Earth and the Sun are going to align with the center of the Milky Way on December 21st, causing- ahem- "bad things." The end.

I don't mean to be Simon Cowell here, but that's absolute rubbish.

Since Earth and the Sun align with center of the Milky Way EVERY YEAR around the winter solstice, and nothing bad has happened yet, it really doesn't sound like a cause for concern.

Ridiculous Theory #4: The Polar Shift Theory
This is one that I actually hadn't heard before. Props to whoever thought it up- they have a huge imagination and a gullible audience. Basically, this theory states that Earth's crust does a 180-degree rotation around Earth's core in a matter of days. That would be really bad- if it were scientifically possible. The truth is, the crust can't do that, because of Plate Tectonics and a few other science-y things. The continents do move back and forth, since they float on magma under the Earth. They move a few inches over the course of several years. Even that huge earthquake in Japan last year moved the island about eight(ish) inches- which is a lot, to be honest. So in order for the crust to do a one-eighty, there would have to be a massive- and so far, impossible- earthquake that encompassed the entire globe. Or something along those lines.

Ridiculous Theory #5: Solar Storms- AHHH- not.
There are people who are worried that there will be huge solar storms during this fictitious Apocalypse, due to some unforeseen irregularity in the solar cycle, which will cause the Earth to look like this:





Que scary opera music, please.

Actually, there will be some solar activity this year. It will look like this:




Scared out of your mind, right?

Unless you have auroraphobia (fear of Northern Lights) or photophobia (the fear of light in general), this shouldn't bother you. And if you really do have those to phobias, just stay away from the Arctic Circle, and you'll be fine. Of course, you'll still be at your house, hiding in the dark, alone- but still, fine.

Still don't believe me? Check these links:
Proof That the Government Should Still Fund NASA
Charlie's Video, In Which the World Does NOT End
NigaHiga's Video, In Which Some Hobbits Are Awkward...

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Loudmouths of the World Silenced- SOPA & PIPA

Hello, folks. Today, I speak not to amuse, but to enrage.

See, today, I was working on my research paper. So, naturally, I went to Research Heaven- Google. And something was wrong. The letters were- well, gone. But I figured, ah, it's just one of those cute little animation things.

So I went to Wikipedia. I mean, I know you should never go there for a source, but just for general background info it's okay. And guess what? It wasn't working.

So now I'm pretty mad. But I figure, hey, the Internet doesn't work, no research today! Woo-hoo!

NOT.

On YouTube, I discovered some shocking information (click here).

You see, the government isn't content with giving adults something to complain about at dinner, having wars, draining us of our hard-earned wages, and generally ruining our lives. Oh, no.

Now they've decided to ruin the Internet, too.

I know what you're thinking: "This bill is about piracy. Piracy, like Pirates. Stealing. Stealing is BAD. Right?"

Yes. Stealing is, indeed, BAD. But what about finding a copyrighted image online- something that you found amusing- and sharing it with your friends on facebook, or twitter, or myspace? Bad? No? Well, that's certainly what these SOPA people think.

And what about YouTube? Like it there, dontcha? Well, not anymore.

My little sister makes music videos with her dolls. Cheesy, I know, but her big dream is to become a director, or as she says, "movie-maker-person." Well, if this SOPA thing gets passed, she won't be able to post her music videos anymore. Talk about crushing a kid's dreams, dude.

And another thing: ya know how sometimes, people will make covers of songs and post them on YouTube, because they hope to become famous? Poof. Dreams Crushed. SOPA is stopping covers, too.

Another example: I'm a HUGE fan of A Very Potter Musical, which is a parody of Harry Potter. It's absolutely hilarious. Well, guess what? SOPA doesn't like parodies. Sorry.

See? This thing stretches way farther than just piracy. We're talking facebook, Twitter, myspace, YouTube, Hulu, LiveJournal, PhotoBucket, and all those other places where people edit those awesome photos. And Trolls, too, but I love those guys.

Oh yeah, and if this thing passes, and you're charged with piracy, you go to jail. For five years. Fun, huh?

But honestly, I have to agree with the dude in my handy-dandy link above. This isn't about piracy. This is about censorship, which is against the Constitution, for the record. I mean, honestly, there are worse things out there right now. Let's look at the issues on our political table:

1. Stopping Rick Perry from becoming President because he's a psychopath.

2. The fun little WAR going on overseas!

3. Recession. Yippee!

4. And then, of course, Libya.

5. Piracy.

Hmmm.... Potentially LARGE pile of dead bodies, or that cute little girl who sings "Home is Wherever I'm With You" with her dad?

The choice is yours, my friend.

Loudmouth Silent.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

New Year, Migraines, and Tobuscus

Hi! Miss me? No? Okay, then.

SO, I actually have no excuse for waiting this long to post anything again. Quelle Surprise...

But, I do have some things to tell you.

Firstly, I have not been on facebook in approximately three weeks. I have absolutely no idea why, but the fact that I came back to you guys first ought to boost your spirits, yes?

Secondly, as far as Christmas goes- well, I don't think you care, but I got everything on my list, so that was good.

Thirdly, I saw the ball drop in New York from my television, and seeing that random cop kissing the reporter chick TOTALLY made my day...

And now, on to the Resolutions That I Will (Probably) Not Keep:

1. Read more. (Okay, obviously I'll keep that one, but still.)

2. Learn something new every day. (Kind of hard not to, what with that "You have to go to school, young lady!" and all.)

3. Finish that best-selling novel! (Well... maybe not this year, but definitely work on it, anyhow.)

I hate New Year's Resolutions. I think next year I won't make any; if I have no expectations for myself, I'll beat them all. Twisted logic, but hey, it works.

The year isn't starting out too well anyway. See, I went to the Good Doctor today, and apparently, I have migraines.

On the down side, I had to spend most of my free time this weekend curled up in a fetal position on my bed wishing that I would die.

On the plus side, I now have meds that will ensure this happens less often. Huzah.

Now, Tobuscus. Let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up:

My sister and I spent the time I wasn't curled up in a fetal position yesterday on YouTube, where she introduced me to Kids React (Loved. It.) and Tobuscus.

Now, don't get me wrong. I watched the Assassin's Creed movie trailer, and The Hobbit movie trailer with this guy's lyrics inserted, and trust me, it was funny. But on the other hand, the whole bit with the "darkness-then-redness-then-whiteness" and the cartoons...

I'm pretty sure that dude has a serious chemical imbalance in his brain. But how do I know? Maybe when he isn't walking down the street with a video camera pointed at himself, talking to it, he's a normal guy. Maybe he's a Troll. Who knows

A bientot!

Also, for your viewing pleasure:
Teens React to My Little Ponies